Remembering Lara....

Another year has passed, and I'm overwhelmed with grief tonight. I just saw some photos your mom posted of you on facebook and I can't stop crying. It's an interesting thing, losing someone. I was only twenty one when you were gone, but you were my best friend for years, and there will always be a place in my heart that aches when I think of you. It's November 8, 2010 and tomorrow marks the eleventh year of your disappearance. It feels like yesterday.

I miss you, will always love you and will never forget you.

VERSUS (COUPLES) ~this Tues 9/21 @ The Rattlestick

Ami and I, along with our dear friend and colleague Tracey Toomey, are producing a fabulous evening of shorts by one of our favorite playwrights Brian Bartels to kick of the Fall season. VERSUS (Couples) are short plays on love, commitment and marriage. They are hilarious and juicy and will be directed by the insanely talented Alex Kilgore. I will be acting in two of the pieces, Coffee on a Great Day and Is That The Baby?. The show is at 7pm this Tuesday 9/21 at the Rattlestick Theater in the West Village! Would love to see you there.

Hallelujah~LIVE @ The Living Room, NYC

I'm so thrilled Jonny asked me to sing with him last night. It was such an honor to stand on that stage, a venue I have always been obsessed with that some of my favorite musicians have played. I remember my first summer in NYC my friend Julie and I saw Minnie Driver sing there (OK-it wasn't my favorite performance but she had a pretty voice), and I thought about how awesome it would be to sing on that stage. Three years later, I did and it was seriously one of the best 5 minutes of my life.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpNbsDTDKqg

Four For Five and The Living Room

It's never too late to develop a passion, and playing guitar and singing is now mine.
I used to sing as a kid A LOT~probably to an annoying degree, and then of course through high school, even singing at my high school graduation (yes I was that girl). But something happened after college one night when my dad asked me to sing at a birthday party that changed my perception of singing and performing for several years. For the first time in my life, I felt oddly aware of the audience. As the music accompanying me started playing I realized I was off key and could not keep up with the piano player. I was completely terrified, and absolutely mortified. I looked out at the pained faces of my parent's friends trying desperately to smile and offer me encouragement while I was drowning. It was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life and my first bout with stage fright and anxiety.
Needless to say, I was totally traumatized and swore off singing forever, deciding I simply wasn't good enough to continue and needed to focus solely on acting.
Four years later after a horrible and depressing break up, I was inspired by a friend's music and drove to guitar center on Sunset Blvd. to buy my first guitar. I was twenty two years old, and besides the piano lessons I took as a kid, had never played a musical instrument. At the time I remember thinking it was too late for me to learn; surely twenty two was far too old to pick up something like guitar. I decided to go for it anyway, and started lessons the following week.
I had an on and off love affair with my guitar; the first few years and learning the basics of playing was incredibly challenging and frustrating. I wouldn't touch it for months or even years at a time. Then last year one of my best friends asked me to sing at her wedding, and as I practiced for her big day, I realized how much I LOVED this instrument. It was an amazing feeling, and I haven't been able to put it down since.
My love for guitar had re ignited my love for singing. This year for our five year wedding anniversary, I went into a friend's studio and recorded four cover songs as a gift for Craig. It was one of the most rewarding and incredible days of my life. The album is appropriately titled Four For Five. (Listen at www.azizahhayesrowen.com)
This Monday, my friend Jonny that helped me record my album asked me sing with him at The Living Room in the Lower East Side. An incredible music venue and a huge honor. Of course, besides the several summer bonfires where I've busted out with a kumbaya, and an occasional open mic or two, I haven't ever performed as a musician live, and I'm slightly terrified.
But also so so excited.

Jonny Lives! Album Preview-Rock 'n Renew Benefit
Monday September 13, 2010
7pm

The Living Room
154 Ludlow St
New York, NY
"I will be performing a solo-acoustic preview of the upcoming Jonny Lives! album "Revolution For Free" (Long Live Crime Records/Sony/MRI) I will be joined by the ever-dynamic Claudio Rochat Felix on Drums, and will do a duet with the incredible songbird Azizah Rowen (http://azizahhayesrowen.com/)as part of my friend Adam Greenberg's monthly showcase for his band Senator and The New Republic.
Special early show-Come after work! I play right at 7pm, with Senator performing at 8pm. I will be joined by the ever-dynamic Claudio Rochat Felix on Drums, and will do a duet with the incredible songbird Azizah Rowen (http://azizahhayesrowen.com/)"
Jonny Dubowsky

The Glee of Friday Night Lights

Friday Night Lights is the shit. How have I missed this show the last few years?
I remember one night, about three years ago, I was at my favorite restaurant/bar called Dominik's in West Hollywood with a few friends who swore over a bottle of wine that this was the best show on television. I didn't believe them. How could some show about football be that good? I silently considered these friends secret tomboys and ignored the advice. Recently my friend Marlo visited NYC and convinced me to give it a go (as you can watch the first three seasons on netflix). Needless to say, I'm hooked. This is way more intense than my Twilight obsession. We all know I'm secretly stuck in high school and totally worship high school drama (and could still watch old school 90210 all day long). This show is awesome. The acting is superb, and as I am a particularly tough critic in that department, when I say superb , I mean outstanding. I'm shocked and a little disturbed these actors have not been recognized at the Globes, Emmy's or Sag awards for their work here; they should be at these award shows every year. Specifically, Connie Britton and Kyle Chandler who play the Coach and his wife Tammy, and Zach Gilford who plays the quarterback, Matt Saracen. His performances are beautiful and captivating;he does very little but has so much going on behind his eyes. And don't even get me started on the hotness that is Tim Riggins (played by Taylor Kitsh). I feel guilty every morning when hubby kisses me goodbye because I've dreamt about this guy all night. He would totally kick Edward Cullen's ass, and is just simply hotter. Big statement, I know.
Season four is about to air on NBC the first week of May. I can't wait. Between Glee and FNL, I'm set with the best high school shows ever.

I Love NYC

I miss you, Lara

Dear Lara,

Ten years ago today, you were gone.

I was in my senior year at USC when I got the call from Meredith asking if you had contacted me. I had spoken to you only days before and you said you were coming to LA to visit me soon.

Lara, you were my best friend during the years when having a best friend is the only thing that matters. I cherished our talks about boys, celebrity crushes (Christian Slater and Luke Perry of course), 90210, who would be our first real kiss, and of course the love of our lives Ian :). We shared so much at such a vulnerable time that my memories are palpable; I can close my eyes and see your face smiling at me and hear your laughter. Remember when you wore that witch's costume on Halloween and tried to get my attention outside Mrs. Kaufman's 7th grade Science room?! We had just had our twilight zone marathon at my house and our favorite quote was " I won't!" Or remember when we danced around in your studio to Paula Abdul's cold hearted snake and Karyn White's secret rendezvous? Or when we rewound the tape (ahhh tapes!) over and over again of Dylan and Brenda kissing?! Then we went to Catalina and decided Eddie Furlong was our real true love-ha! So many memories...

I miss you so much. Sometimes I swear I see you from a distance, out of the corner of my eye, and then when I turn you are gone. Or I have dreams that we are together and catching up and wake up momentarily relieved and happy~until the realization sets in that you aren't here anymore.
I'm grateful for the the big talk we had at the end of our senior year when we discussed the "awkward stage" of our friendship during high school. I know you said you understood and we talked it all out but I want you to know I wish we had never drifted. I have beat myself up for it for years. I'm so thankful we reconnected at the end of it, and became closer than ever for a period of time before I went off to college. I know in my heart if you were here you would be a part of my life and still to this day one of my best friends.

I miss you, I miss you, I miss you. I will always wonder why? and secretly hate the universe for taking you away. I hope you are happy, beedi. I have a while to go down here, but can't wait to hug you again one day. Thank you so much for being a part of my life.

Love you always,

Z