Throwback. Los Angeles. 1989.
Oh god, I was so conflicted about posting this when I found it. I bawled my eyes out when MJ died, (see my post June of 2009) like all of us, his music was the backdrop of my childhood. This moment, being called up on stage in LA during his bad tour and dancing up there with him... (1:18-1:26) it was literally surreal. I had been on several stages as a young performer but was actually so shocked by the magnitude of the stadium that I stood in the back row. I recall this being the first time I was ever nervous on a stage..the energy was more powerful than I had ever experienced. I had also never seen someone with his star power close up before. I can remember looking at him as he crossed the stage and he smiled and I felt like his being was somehow something greater than human; he was magnetic. A musical genius he most certainly was. But I also believe he was a very sick individual and I believe his victims. I’m not interested in a debate. I understand the conflict. I swore I would never listen to his music again. Then somehow Thriller blared on Halloween this year while I was at a party and I got up to dance and sat down again and then got up again. I danced and felt joy and nostalgia and also nausea and sadness and sickness and grief all at once. And I hoped the song would end but also couldn’t stop myself from dancing to what was once my all time favorite song. Which is so indicative of how so many people feel about Michael Jackson now. What do we do with this information, with this knowledge ? Will we ever be able to listen to his music again in the same way ? No. But will we still listen to it? Maybe, probably? Again, I was conflicted but this blip of a moment in my life was extraordinary, so here it is. In all our innocence, the pop icon of our generation ...what a legend we thought he was, before we knew.
Before we knew, before we knew.
** I believe his victims 💯, I’m so sorry to whoever was hurt. Hurt people, hurt people. Believe survivors. Thank you for your bravery. X
